Ihearyourobjesalready:“MydearStorytellerEffendi,youmightbeabletoimitateanyoneoranything,butneverawomaIbegtodiffer.True,I’vewanderedfromcitytocity,imitatihingintotheweehoursofthenightatweddings,festivalsandcoffeehousesuntilmyvoicegaveout,andthusitwasnevermylottomarry,butthisdoesn’tmeanI’munacquaihwomenfolk.

    Iknowwomenquitewell;infact,I’veknownfourpersonally,seentheirfadspokenwiththem:1.mymother,maysherestiernalpeace;2.mybelovedaunt;3.thewifeofmybrother(healwaysbeatme),whosaid“Getout!”ohoserareoccasionswhenIsawher—shewasthefirstwomanIfellih;and4.aladyIsawsuddenlyatanopenwindowinKonyaduringmytravels.Despiteneverhavingspokenwithher,I’venursedfeelingsoflusttowardherforyearsandstilldo.Perhaps,bynow,she’spassedaway.

    Seeingawoman’sbareface,speakingtoher,andwitnessingherhumanityopeobothpangsoflustanddeepspiritualpaininusmen,andthusthebestofallalternativesisnottolayeyesonwomen,especiallyprettywomen,withoutfirstbeinglawfullywed,asourhdictates.Thesoleremedyforaldesiresistoseekoutthefriendshipofbeautifulboys,asatisfactorysurrogateforfemales,andiime,this,too,beesasweethabit.IiesoftheEuropeanFranks,womenroamaboutexposingnotonlytheirfaces,butalsotheirbrightlyshininghair(aftertheirnecks,theirmostattractivefeature),theirarms,theirbeautifulthroats,andeven,ifwhatI’veheardistrue,aportionoftheirgeouslegs;asaresult,themenofthosecitieswalkaboutwithgreatdifficulty,embarrassedaremepain,because,yousee,theirfrontsidesarealwayseredthisfaaturallyleadstotheparalysisoftheirsociety.Undoubte