anoddlygentlecresdo.Ilookedintothemirror,sawmyrefleorphintomyfather,myson,Gustav.Behihemirror,ohecreaturesroseandreachedoutitsclawstoaroundmyneck.

    Tesssatontheedgeofthebed,shakingmyshoulder.Iwasdrehsweat,andthoughIfelthotterthanhell,shesaidIwasclammyandcold."Youvehadabaddream.Itsokay,itsokay."IburiedmyfaherbreastarokedmyhairandrockedmeuntilIgainedmyfullsenses.Foramoment,IdidnotknowwhereIwas,didnotknoasnoworever.

    "WheresEdward?"

    Shelookedperplexedbymyquestion."Atmymothers,dontyouremember?Hesspendingtheweekend.Whatswrongwithyou?"

    Ishiveredinherembrace.

    "WasitthatmeanoldMrs.Ungerland?Youotrateonwhatsimportantandstopchasingafterast.Dontyouknow,itsyouIlove.Andalwayshave."

    Everyonehasanunnameablesecrettoodiretofesstofriendorlover,priestorpsychiatrist,tooentwihecoretoexcisewithoutharm.Somepeoplechoosetoig;othersburyitdeepandlugitunspokentothegrave.Wemaskitsowellthateventhebodysometimesfetsthesecretexists.Idonotwanttoloseourchild,andIdonotwanttoloseTess.MyfearofbeingfoundoutasagelingaedbyTesshasmadeasecretoftherestofmylife.

    Afterheariruestustav,itisnowohatIrememberedsolittlefromthosedays.Ihadbeenlockedinsidemyownmindwithmusicasmyonlymeansofself-expression.HadIolen,Iwouldneverhavelivedamongthegelings,neverhadthecetobeeHenryDay.AndhadInotgedplaceswiththeboy,IwouldneverhaveknownTess,neverhadachildofmyown,andneverfoundmywaybacktothisworld.Inaway,thegelingsgavemeaseddtheirreappearahebreak-inatourhome,