theceofanotherhumanenter.Therainfellinasteadydrizzle,notquitecoldenoughtogeain,andIwassoakedandchilled.Thecloudsobliteratedthesun,makingitdifficulttoorientmyself,soIusedtheriverasmypass,followingitscoursethroughoutthepaledayandintotheslowlyemergingdarkness.Frantictofindher,Ididnotstopuntillatethatnight.Uandofevergreenscrointersparrowsandjays,Irested,waitingforabreakiher.

    Awayfromthetown,allIcouldhearwastheriverlappingagainstthestonyshores.AssoonasIstoppedsearg,thequestionsIhadkeptatbaybegantoassaultmymind.Unanswerabledoubtsthatwouldtormentmeimomentsforthefewyears.Whyhadsheleftus?WhywouldSpeckleaveme?ShewouldnothavetakentheriskthatKiviandBlommahad.ShehadchosentobealohoughSpeckhadtoldmemyrealname,Ihadnoideaofhers.HowcouldIeverfindher?ShouldIhavekeptquiet,ortoldallandgivenherareasontostay?Asharppainswelledbehindmyeyes,pingmythrobbingskull.Ifonlytostopobsessing,Iroseandtiostumblethroughthewetdarkness,findingnothing.

    Cold,tired,andhungry,Ireachedthebendintheriverintwodayswalk.Speckhadbeentheonlyotherpersonfromthewhohadethisfar,andshehadsomehowfordedthewatertotheotherside.Sapphireblue,thewaterranquickly,breakingoverhiddenrodsnags,whitecapsflashing.Ifshewasoherside,Speckhadcrossedbydintofce.Oantshore,avisionappearedfrommydeepmadmemories—aman,woman,andchild,thefleetescapeofawhitedeer,awomaninaredcoat."Speck,"Irailedacrossthewaters,butshewasnowhere.Pastthispointofland,thewholeworldunfolded,teandunknowable.Allhopeandceleftme.Idarednotcross,soIsatonthebankandwait