HedidnotleaveforCambridgetheday,ashehadsaidhewould.Hedeferredhisdepartureawholeweek,andduringthattimehemademefeelwhatseverepunishmentagoodyetstern,astiousyetimplacablemanflionewhohasoffendedhim.Withoutoactofhostility,oneupbraidingword,hetrivedtoimpressmemomentlywiththevithatIutbeyondthepaleofhisfavour.

    NotthatSt.Johnharbouredaspiritofunchristianvindictiveness—notthathewouldhaveinjuredahairofmyhead,ifithadbeenfullyinhispowertodoso.Bothbynatureandprinciple,heeriortothemeangratificationofvengeance:hehadfivenmeforsayingIsedhimandhislove,buthehadnottenthewords;andaslongasheandIlivedheneverwouldfetthem.Isawbyhislook,wheurome,thattheywerealwayswrittenontheairbetweenmeandhim;wheneverIspoke,theysoundedinmyvoicetohisear,andtheirechotonedeveryanswerhegaveme.

    Hedidnotabstainfromversingwithme:heevencalledmeasusualeachmtojoinhimathisdesk;ahecorruptmanwithinhimhadapleasureunimpartedto,andunsharedby,thepureChristian,inevingwithwhatskillhecould,whileagandspeakingapparentlyjustasusual,extraeverydeedandeveryphrasethespiritofiandapprovalwhichhadformerlyunicatedacertainausterecharmtohislanguageandmaome,hewasiybeenolongerflesh,butmarble;hiseyewasacold,bright,bluegem;histongueaspeakinginstrument—nothingmore.

    Allthiswastorturetome—refined,lingeringtorture.Itkeptupaslowfireofindignationandatremblingtroubleofgrief,whichharassedandcrushedmealtogether.Ifelthow—ifIwerehiswife,thisgoodman,pureasthedeepsunlesssource,couldsoonkillme,withoutdrawingfrommyveinsasingledropofblood,orrece