cissuswasgreatlyedabouthisfriend.Heworriedabouthimandmissedhim.Wouldheeverebaowthisstrangeandlovablepersonwasagainfollowinghiscrooked,will-lesspath,roamingtheworldwithdesireandcuriosity,followinghisstrongdarkdrives,stormyandinsatiable,agrownchild.MightGodbewithhim;mightheebacksafeandsound.Againhewouldflyhitherandthither,thebutterfly,itnewsins,seduen,followhisinstincts,wouldperhapsagainbeinvolvedinmurder,danger,andimprisoandmightperishthatway.Howmuchworrythisblondboycausedone!Heplainedaboutgrowingold,allthewhilelookingoutofsuchboyisheyes!Howoofearforhim.A,deepdowninhisheart,NarcissusyaboutGoldmund.Itpleasedhimverymuchthatthisstubbornchildwassodifficulttotame,thathehadsuchcaprices,thathehadbrokenoutagaintoshakeoffhisantlers.

    EverydaytheAbbotsthoughtsreturoimeoraohisfriend,withloveandlonging,gratitudeandworry,occasionallyalsowithdoubtandself-reproach.Shouldhenotperhapshaveshownhisfriendmoreclearlyhowmuchhelovedhim,howlittlehewishedhimtobeotherthanhewas,howrichhehadbeethroughhisbeingandhisart?Hehadnotsaidmuchaboutit,perhapsnotenough—whocouldtellifhemightnothavebeeokeephim?

    ButhehadnotonlybeenenrichedbyGoldmund.Hehadalsogrownpoorerbecauseofhim,poorerandweaker,anditwascertainlygoodthathehadnotshownthattohisfriend.Theworldinwhichhelivedandmadehishome,hisworld,hiscloisterlife,hispriestlyoffice,hisscholarlybeing,hiswell-structedthoughtedifice—allthishadoftenbeenshakentoitsfoundationsbyhisfriendandwasnowfilledwithdoubt.Certainly,seenfromthepointofviewofthecloister,fromthe