Chapter20

    Itwasalovelynight,sowarmthathethrewhiscoatoverhisarmanddidnotevenputhissilkscarfroundhisthroat.Ashestrolledhome,smokinghiscigarette,twoyoungmenineveningdresspassedhim.Heheardohemwhispertotheother,"ThatisDray."Herememberedhowpleasedheusedtobewhenheoi,orstaredat,ortalkedabout.Hewastiredofhearinghisownnamenow.Halfthecharmofthelittlevillagewherehehadbeensooftenlatelywasthatnooneknewwhohewas.Hehadoftentoldthegirlwhomhehadluredtolovehimthatheoor,andshehadbelievedhim.Hehadtoldherohewaswicked,andshehadlaughedathimandahatwickedpeoplewerealwaysveryoldandveryugly.Whatalaughshehad!--justlikeathrushsinging.Andhowprettyshehadbeetondressesandherlargehats!Shekhing,butshehadeverythingthathehadlost.

    Whenhereachedhome,hefoundhisservantwaitingupforhim.Hesenthimtobed,andthrewhimselfdownonthesofainthelibrary,aothinkoversomeofthethingsthatLordHenryhadsaidtohim.

    Wasitreallytruethatonecouldneverge?Hefeltawildlongingfortheunstainedpurityofhisboyhood--hisrose-whiteboyhood,asLordHenryhadoncecalledit.Hekhathehadtarnishedhimself,filledhismindwithcorruptionandgivenhorrortohisfancy;thathehadbeenanevilioothers,andhadexperieerriblejoyinbeingso;andthatofthelivesthathadcrossedhisown,ithadbeenthefairestafullofpromisethathehadbroughttoshame.Butwasitallirretrievable?Wastherenohopeforhim?

    Ah!inwhatamonstrousmomentofprideandpassionhehadprayedthattheportraitshouldbeartheburdenofhisdays,andhekeeptheunsulliedsplendourofeternalyouth!Allhisfailurehadbeehat.Betterforhimt