Ifyby-tackledinthemiddleofthenightjustasyouwereabouttohurlyourselfoffthetopofatower-block,youprobablywouldhinkingaboutbreakfasttelevisioers.

    (Thiswouldeasashocktobreakfasttelevisioers,ofcourse,mostofwhomfirmlybelievethatpeoplethinkaboutnothingelsebutbreakfast,lunddinner.)IwasmatureenoughtoriseaboveJessstauhoughIfeltlikebreakingherarms.

    Ifweletgo,areyougoingtobehave?Yes.

    SoMaureenstoodup,andwithwearyiabilityJessscrambledfortheladder,andIhadthercrashingdownagain.

    Nowwhat?saidMaureen,asifIwereaveteranoftlesssimilarsituations,andwouldthereforeknowtheropes.

    Idontbloodyknow.

    Whyitdidntoccurtoanyofusthatawell-knownsuicidespotwouldbelikePiccadillyCirNewYearsEve.Ihavenoidea,butatthatpointintheproceedingsIhadacceptedtherealityofoursituation:wewereintheprocessasolemnandprivatemomentintoafarcewithacastofthousands.

    Andatthatprecisemomentofacceptahreebecamefour.Thereolitecough,aurnedroundtolook,wesawatall,good-looking,long-hairedman,maybetenyearsyouhanme,holdingacrashhelmetunderonearmahosebiginsulatedbagsiher.

    Anyofyouguysorderapizza?hesaid.

    MAUREENIdanAmeribefore,Idontthink.Iwasntatallsurehewasoher,untiltheotherssaidsomething.YoudontexpectAmeristobedeliveringpizzas,doyou?Well,Idont,butperhapsImjustoutoftouch.Idontorderpizzasveryoften,buteverytimeIhave,theyvebeendeliveredbysomeonewhodoesntspeakEnglish.Amerisdontdeliverthings,dothey?Orserveyouinshops,ortakeyourmohebus.IsupposetheymustdoinAmerica,buttheydonthere.IndiansaIndia